Anne Kenner

"The average individual loses at least nine items a day, and wastes a minimum of fifteen minutes looking for them. This calamity of lost objects and time can reach epidemic proportions in aging humans." https://salmagundi.skidmore.edu/articles/1539-

As the world industrialized, chronic back pain reached epidemic proportions. By the mid-20th century, spinal health had reached a pinnacle of diagnostic focus for the simple reason that everyone’s back hurt like a son of a bitch....

"Do you want to meet Sharon?" my important friend asked, as if he were offering me dessert. "Okay," I said, although I didn't, not ever, and certainly not at the end of a tedious dinner...

"A good thing about being short,” my mother said when I turned twelve in 1970, “is that you can date all sorts of men, short ones and tall ones.” “Can’t tall girls do that?” I asked her. “Yes,” she said, “but short men feel inferior with them."...

Can’t a Girl Dream?! Parrot She walks past a mansion on Broadway and waves to an old man standing in the driveway with a parrot on his shoulder. Unbeknownst to her, he’s the childless owner of the house and is disgusted by his grasping nieces and…

“I used to throw the frisbee for Gus at Alta Plaza Park, an hour at a stretch. I’d launch the disc across the broad green lawn, waiting for the dog to tire, to rest under a tree, to grant me a reprieve from his implacable drive. When he did finally…

“Congratulations,” Jim said, from the high wooden bed in our apartment on Remsen Street in 1986. “Congratulations?’” “I’m happy for you,” he explained. “Jim,” I said, “I may be the one that’s pregnant, but this is our baby.” “Right,” he said.…

I didn’t want to live on Sonoma Mountain. I was busy in San Francisco, with my job and my children, our friends and activities. Cities had always been my preferred environment; I like the noise and jostling crowds. But Jim needed more room and fewer…

For Sale by Owner: Four-bedroom, two-bath house. Facts and Features: Type: Single Family, and although one might consider that description wonderfully oxymoronic, it’s totally possible to feel single in this house whether or not you’re living with…

· 5 min read 1. 2 half-gallons of 1% milk, even though you don’t drink milk and it weighs a shitload and it means you’re going to have to pay for double-bags or remember to bring a cloth bag from the trunk of your car, which is unlikely since you’ve…

non-fiction POISONED Anne Kenner - Those diseases which medicines do not cure, iron cures; those which iron cannot cure, fire cures; and those which fire cannot cure, are to be reckoned wholly incurable. (The Hippocratic Aphorisms, Section VIII, #87)…

The third edition of Volume 33 is out and, if you don’t already subscribe, available to to purchase right here in our online shop. 33:3 features paintings by Jenny Brillhart, fiction by Jeff Frawley, Matthew Raymond, Kevin Breen, Kay Bontempo, and…

Because of the virus, we moved to Sonoma, into a little house we have on the top of a mountain, with its gnarly garden and an ancient, tangled fig tree whose lower branches are so long and heavy they crushed the post and rail fence below. When the…

So, some asshole steals Charlie out of the car that Joan parks for maybe fifteen minutes tops on Valencia Street to run an errand. The sun is out, everyone is looking everyone else up, down and sideways, traffic is flowing, bicycles are rolling, and…

In 1967, when I was nine, my parents sent me to sleepaway camp for a month to teach me independence. My father had gone to summer camp once in the Ozarks, and my mother not at all. They didn’t camp as adults, either. But they had spent a few years in…

In the Sonoma dusk, bats swoop above the winding road to our gate and around the garden pond below our bedroom window. I cannot see their faces; only the outline of wings and ears. The bats mostly stay away from me, in their hunt for nighttime…

ANNE KENNER If You Like Rules If you like rules, you’ll love being a prosecutor. Especially if it’s 1986, and you’re in Brooklyn working for the US Attorney’s Office for the Eastern District of New York. There are rules for everything in that office,…