Benevolent producers, a million dollars just isn’t what it used to be. Neither is the $75,000 third-place prize I happened to win. So, I’d like you to consider a Cost of Living Adjustment roughly commensurate with the rate of inflation. I don’t

And his use of my signature catchphrase, “Smell you forever because you stink that bad.” I knew I should have had that copyrighted.

Some part of my subconscious is absorbing everything though, right?

Got a haircut and started showering every day. And I’m pretty sure he got my Michael Scott tattoo removed, but he won’t let me see.

It’ll cost you 48 school fundraiser chocolate bars

I promise I feel just as miserable as when you first showed up, so you can get a whole other episode out of me if you want.

Did I immediately quit my job since I don’t have the PTO? Sure. But there are no guarantees in this life.