Mick Swasko

When St. Patrick's Day in Chicago is over, and the river returns to its natural color, the day-after debauchery usually still involves bagpiping — of the flatulent variety. As common as the four-leaf clover is a symbol for the Irish holiday, the…

The history of nicknames for the male member is centuries long. While its hard to have a solid idea of exactly when humans began amassing a dic(k)tionary worth of colorful words for the penis, it is possible to trace some of the organ's linguistic…

Since Jan. 1 -- at first by accident -- the 35-year-old from Lakeview has abstained from drinking, inadvertently joining the growing movement of Dry January or "Dryanuary." "I decided to make some New Year's resolutions this year that were pretty…

The ironically named 85-pound beagle was recently surrendered to Chicago Animal Care and Control by an elderly owner. "They said he was urgent, meaning he could be euthanized at any time," said Heather Owen, board president of One Tail at a Time,…

Chicago's animal Queen of Pop is a pup. Sure, the title "Pop Person" technically should rule out Luna—the Shedd Aquarium's orphaned baby sea otter—but there's good reason to bestow the title on this furry little lady. Really, how often does a pudgy…

It was quite the chilly wait just to see a tiny red dot inch across the skyline, but at least Sunday night wasn't capped off by watching a man fall to his death. It probably made for somewhat thrilling TV, but it wasn't nearly as captivating on the…

Wrigley and the Cubs had their birthday cake, and no one ate it, too. The 400-pound "Cake Boss" created birthday cake for Wrigley's centennial was a spectacle at Wednesday's celebration. Now, it's apparently being hauled away to a dumpster on a…

A few days after his wedding in July, Scott Hoyer was back behind the bar. Between flicks of the wrist at the tap, he was collecting tips from patrons who ranged from rowdy cowboys to jocks to raging punk rockers. Each of them slung an empty…

Chris Ernst had no idea that the photos he took of a truck fire Monday included a DeLorean driving past, let alone that the picture would soon go viral. At the very same moment, the driver of the DeLorean—also taking a photo—was equally unaware the…

Jordan Land hadn't lived in the city for even a month last year when he witnessed a bar brawl so ugly he and a friend caught a cab home in fear. "We were so freaked out," said Land, 21. "It was so ridiculous, it was inside the bar and then it came…

Naperville Central Principal Bill Wiesbrook met with the entire senior class, sent an email to their parents and teachers and rang home phones with an automated message — all to make sure they ignored the lure of senior "ditch day." The response: 456…

Eight of 10 Naperville fifth-graders surveyed Friday agree: "Weird Al" is cooler than Justin Bieber. But just a week ago, most of the Brookdale Elementary School students who were enlisted to perform a dance to Al Yankovic's parody song "Eat It"…

— Tight neon pink spandex shorts with pantyhose and low-cut T-shirts or tank tops with a bold "Show-Me's" logo across the chest are what you might have expected. The zipped fleece jacket over the outfit, however, was a bit of a surprise. The wait…

Everyone who knew Veton Toska called him "Toni." And Toni would greet everyone he knew with his signature "Peace, dude." An avid soccer player, the 17-year-old Albanian native averaged a goal and a half per match playing midfield for the Sycamore…

A popular Illinois State University student who disappeared in mid-October and whose badly burned body was found about a week later in Mississippi was murdered in her Normal, Ill., apartment by a neighbor, stuffed in her car and driven out of the…