The Green Room is a Bar I Went to Once That Has Since Burned DownThere used to be a bar on St. Laurent Street in the Mile End district of Montreal called the Green Room. The only green wall in the place was covered with pictures of musicians performing at the Green Room. If you ever found yourself milling around… Apr 20 11April 20, 2011Article at maisonneuve.org
Miracles Are Arbitrary and MeaninglessAssuming that I'm the archetype, miracles occur roughly every three to four months in the life of the average person. I mean real miracles, not childbirth or finding your keys. If you haven't observed any real miracles in your life it may be that… Feb 02 11February 02, 2011Article at maisonneuve.org
The New Testament, AbridgedAt a certain moment in the evolution of the species the God of the whole universe decided to visit planet earth as a human, so as to solve the problem of evil. Being a plural entity, God commissioned one of his personalities to be born as a normal… Oct 06 10October 06, 2010Article at maisonneuve.org
Lucky StrikesSmoking isn’t an addiction. It’s a love affair. Mark Mann on a decade with cigarettes. Illustration by Mitch Blunt. When I was a child I wrote a script for my life. It went like this: "Be nice and go to heaven." Then one day I saw an ad for Lucky… Sep 23 10September 23, 2010Article at maisonneuve.org
My Fear of ToiletsWhen I was a child the noise of toilets frightened me. I did not want anyone to hear the sound of my urine striking the water, let alone the cacophony and uproar of actually flushing the toilet. This I could not bear and in fact I often did not do… Sep 20 10September 20, 2010Article at maisonneuve.org
Tips for Becoming a Better SmokerWhen I was a child I wrote a script for my life. It went like this: "Be nice and go to heaven." Then one day I saw an ad for Lucky Strike cigarettes in a magazine. It was simple, a picture of a man and a woman smoking on a fire escape. They weren't… Mar 28 10March 28, 2010Article at maisonneuve.org
My Beef With BirdsEveryone loves birds, or thinks they do. They just haven't looked closely enough. The reality of birds is that they fly around above our heads making high-pitched noises and defecating. In fact, birds do a lot of horrible things. For one, they eat… Sep 27 09September 27, 2009Article at maisonneuve.org
Christ-OffSometimes when I'm feeling sleepy and religious, I like to ask myself the question: who's better, the Protestants or the Catholics? This might happen to me after large meals that I've cooked and eaten by myself, or when I'm sitting on the bus and no… Sep 23 09September 23, 2009Article at maisonneuve.org
Neither Fish nor FleshStephen Marche talks about his brilliant new mockthology. In a time when fat prose often passes for literary daring, Canadian author Stephen Marche has managed to write something so original it could almost claim its own genre. Over four years Marche… Aug 31 07August 31, 2007Article at maisonneuve.org
