When in Rome, do as the Romans do. When at home, you should feel free to be yourself, whoever that is.

Why do I have to make obnoxious squeaky wheel noises in order to get the bare minimum of grease?

Speaking in first draft is a side effect of not thinking before you speak. We can all use an editor.

The point of being an adolescent is to get all that adolescent behavior out of your system. It shouldn't haunt you when you're old.

I never used to be one of those people who had more pictures on my phone of food than my kids. But now I'm a food porn addict.

Abraham Maslow only came up with his hierarchy because he was a man in the 1950s. Women have a completely different perspective on worrying.

Old is a construct, like time. I feel old at 55, but not when standing next to an 800 year old building in Italy.

Travel is fatal to prejudice--and we could all use a little less prejudice in these uncertain times.

Phyllis. I have a major crush on a woman named Phyllis that I have created out of nothing but my imagination.

Eternity is a really long time. It lasts for, like, an ETERNITY. I can't even contemplate that amount of time.

My strongest love language is worry. If I'm worried about you, you know I care about you.

The only thing standing between us and anarchy is the rule of law. Which requires cooperation and agreement. You know. Kindergarten stuff.

A glitch in the simulation is the only thing that can explain such wildly different interpretations of reality.

Guilt is a powerful marketing tool. It's been used by Jewish Mothers for generations to great effect. I would know.

Silent book club is a way to be social when your social batteries are already drained. Ahhh. Heaven. Parallel play for grownups..

I don't care what you celebrate, so long as you're happy. Joy makes everything (and everyone) better, however you come by it.

What was cheap but effective jet fuel back in the day is an all-purpose household tool, thanks to a marketing genius.

It's Pub Day for Devil's Defense! And to you, loyal subscriber, I give you this special pub day gift.

When a good book like Devil's Defense drops into the universe, it's got to be good news! Preorder yours now!

To exit Hell, please enter your one-time double-factor authentication code we sent to an email address you no longer have the password to. I got a new computer. The screen on it is so big that I named it “Lori’s IMAX” in our network. It’s super…