By 2008, writer, idea-magician and visionary exterior designer Will Howell-Cornes had had enough of London’s rat race. So, turning his back on society, he packed his bags and moved away from it all to a secret location.
Since then, he has been living in this beautiful, red, carbon-neutral, Lord of the Rings-inspired Hobbit Hole.
Juliet Bravo caught up with him to get the lowdown in this excerpt from Hipster! magazine's interview.
JB - Will, downsizing has become all the rage, but you were one of the first. Why did you swap the concrete jungle for the jungle?
WJHC - It’s not a jungle. It’s a forest. I don’t understand the question.
Why did you swap the concrete jungle for the forest?
Because I didn’t like the concrete jungle.
Great! Could you elaborate?
I like the forest.
What gave you the idea?
I don’t know what made me think of it… the design is unique, yet still seems quintessentially British. I think my home would look great in Hoxton Square.
Could you walk us through your micro-home?
It has everything I need: bedroom, living room, kitchen/dining room, an office, a conservatory, and a 450-square-mile garden. It can get a little cramped; I mean I sleep standing up, but who wouldn’t love 270-degree views?
Tell us about those almost panoramic views…
The house is built in a fashion that most architects would agree is called “square,” so by contorting and rotating my body through 90 degrees each mealtime, I get three different views of the forest from my north-facing office, south-facing lounge and the west-facing kitchen/diner. I sleep in the east wing. Living in a forest, it gets dark around 2 pm.
And you work remotely?
Yes, I was surprised to find the cabin came with a built-in phone line. I work remotely from my desk/dinner table/kitchen worktop/toilet. Which is handy. I love to cook, and the surface of my Apple MacBook Air doubles as an ideal vegetable chopping board.
Personal question. How do you stay clean?
I drilled small holes in the roof, meaning I can only shower when it rains. I have to leave my laptop outside when I shower in case it gets wet.
You’ve been likened to a modern-day Henry David Thoreau…
I wouldn’t know anything about that – I don’t even like tennis, but they say an Englishman’s home is his castle. Living off-grid as a self-deluded hipster means I’m not only King of my home, but King of all the forest creatures.
Do you get many visitors?
I invite nearly everyone I meet in the forest, but I think it's too difficult to find… so instead I invented a one-man version of the popular game Twister. I see men with dogs and beards and guns. I don’t have room to entertain, so I watch them from the woods. They seem nice!
What’s the best thing about living a solitary life?
Seeing Nikki every morning. There’s a Sainsbury’s Local two hundred yards away, near Canning Town tube station. She works on the tills. She gives me free Nectar Points.
And the worst?
I moved to the country to get away from the rat race, but if anything, with all the animals, it’s noisier than London. That said, if you really take the time to get to know the animals, you find out they’re all twats. Birds can be especially annoying. I mean, they don’t even have jobs, but that doesn’t stop them waking me at five o'clock every morning. Arseholes.
Will Howell-Cornes is a writer. He has been writing a novel about a man who shuns society for the last twenty-five years and a TV show for the last ten years. He types with one finger.
Juliet Bravo is a fictional BBC television detective show which ran from 1980 – 1985.