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Note: I use several terms in this article: LGBTQ and same-sex attracted. The former is for when I refer to the secular community by their own self-defined name and the latter is when I am referring to specifically Catholic situations.
How should a Catholic parish address the issues raised during Pride month in their locale?
Most respond by ignoring it or condemning it, both are great mistakes.
First, understand in the secular world it is Pride month; we Catholics focus on June as the month of the Sacred Heart.
Pride Month
The Pride movement began in earnest after the Stonewall Riots in New York when police raided The Stonewall Inn — a gay bar off Christopher Street in Manhattan — and the patrons fought back in 1970. The following Sunday patrons of the bar organized a march for their rights as homosexual citizens of this country. With about 1000 marchers, the Gay Pride movement came out. Today the bar is a national historic landmark maintained by the US National Park Service.
Homosexuality in all its forms has an unknown etiology. People feel attraction to those of the same sex. The feelings that most have when encountering an attractive member of the opposite sex and the feelings when encountering members of their own sex are reversed.
Pride does not refer to the vice of being prideful but the problem of being filled with shame due to feelings over which people have no control.
So Pride in this case means one will not feel shame for the feelings they have. Feelings are nothing more than feelings. The movement also means that no one has the right to deny anyone basic rights. The Church makes it clear we must treat all with dignity.
There is great confusion between the LGBTQ and the Christian communities because of certain passages in the Bible that would seem to condemn homosexuality in all forms. What the Bible forbids is not feelings but actions on a heterosexual and homosexual spectrum.
My experience is that the two communities speak across each other. When the LGBTQ community talks about their life issues, they are speaking about the orientation that may or may not lead to action. When the Christian community speaks about them they are speaking about gay action and not orientation. Neither realizes they are not addressing the same topic.
Bridegroom — An important documentary
One study of the clash over homosexuality and Christianity is the documentary Bridegroom which illustrates a terrible injustice to a young man who lost the one he loved.
According to the movie, two men fell in love — one from a more secular family and one from a staunch Christian family (Presbyterian). They met in Los Angeles but both came from the Midwest. Already coming to terms with their sexuality, the latter did not come out to his family until long after the two met, the former was out for a while. The Christian family did not take their son’s admitting to being gay to them well and blamed his lover for turning him that way.
The Christian dies by accident and his family cuts off his lover from seeing his body in the hospital. They restrict him from the funeral and all other contact. The family even threatened him with violence if he showed up at the burial rites. This surviving partner suffers terribly through his grief over the loss of this man he loved so much.
Clobber passages
Many point out that the Bible contains passages condemning homosexual activity. The LGBTQ community calls them clobber passages as in being clobbered over their heads with them.
Primarily, the commandments with their roots in both Judaism and Christianity demand love for God and neighbor. The Church teaches it is not possible to obey any divine mandate without a covenantal relationship with God in Jesus Christ, expressed through prayer.
One can cite the Bible all day but it means nothing if we do not first teach others of building a prayer relationship with Christ. In fact, God makes the admonition against homosexual sexual activity in Leviticus to the Hebrews who alone had a covenant with Him and to no other culture at the time. The same applies on a Christian level.
No one has any business clobbering people especially those who do not first know Christ. Once they know Christ they can address their day-to-day realities in and to Christ on a personal level and along with His community the Church.
When we treat others in a dehumanizing way, we commit sin. Denying another the grieving process is grave sin. I spoke to many members of the LGBTQ community about this movie, they explained that this happens all the time. Family members even forbade surviving partners from learning where their beloved was buried. This is a terrible sin against humanity.
Jesus commands us to do unto others as we would have them do unto us. We cannot follow this golden rule and commit such an inhuman act.
This is also the point of this month. Those who are same-sex attracted stand unapologetically for who they are. There is nothing in Catholic teaching condemning them. Neither is there anything in Catholic teaching that allows others to be treated so inhumanly. No one is allowed physical or even emotional damage against another. This too is grave sin.
Catholic sessions to address these issues in parish settings
I will challenge Catholic parishes to show this film and hold a discussion of it, in light of Catholic teaching.
Invite the parish grieving committee members and others. Let them discuss what they would do if the family of the deceased loved one requested his funeral in your parish. Add into the discussion the rules of the diocese and ask how you would deal with all of this without disregarding the requirements of the bishop.
Your instruction for the night may include that the movie itself is part of the evidence used in the Obergefeld Case which legalized same-sex marriage in this country. This is another reason why people should view it. The issue was of who had rights in such a relationship, it was not about sex.
What response should the parish do if this played out in your community? If the Christian family were Catholic and planned to have a Funeral Mass at your parish and you learned of the extenuating circumstances, what would recommend the parish should do? Much of your answer would also depend on the specific funeral policies in your diocese. Even if the bishop proscribed the funeral, this does not mean denying pastoral care.
Catholics of all orientations have a calling to chastity. How many Catholics know that the description of chastity in the Catechism of the Catholic Church is eleven paragraphs long? How many read all of them? The Catechism teaches that friendship is essential in chastity and for some, it teaches, it is a struggle nevertheless. Prayer is a sine qua non and so are Christ-centered relationships.
This is another possible exercise for the same group. Read and discuss the Church’s teaching on chastity from the Catechism of the Catholic Church.
Catholics feeling alienated from the Church
Many in the LGBTQ community find themselves alienated from the Church because no one taught them just what the Church teaches. They instead hear they are sinful and evil and must live a celibate life. They do not hear instructions on the skills the Church calls all Catholics to use to live a holy life including those who are same-sex attracted. Further, all Catholics who are not in a sacramental marriage have a calling to live similarly.
In fact, many heterosexual Catholics practice similar sexual activities to what homosexuals practice but do not consider them sinful even though the Church clearly teaches that they are.
Anthropology and Catholic teaching
The Church describes homosexuality as an objective disorder. First, understand that is a theological term and not a medical term and it means one has an attraction to what is not in the natural order. I must admit, I am not so sure the term does not need further study. Remember, I believe that all Catholics have a calling to chastity so I am not saying anything radical here.
Anthropologists teach that every society survives partially because of those who do not contribute to the gene pool, but assist in its existence and perpetuation. Some do not produce offspring but still help the gene pool and, therefore, the culture thrive. Jesus himself said that sexual relations were not for all. So, further study must continue on the question of whether the description of same-sex attraction in the Catechism needs further development. The Catechism’s theology is not necessarily scientifically accurate. Remember, the Catechism of the Council of Trent cites the sun and moon revolving around the Earth and not what is truthfully the other way around, which was discovered later than it was written.
So, you may disagree with some of the activities you see outside the Church during this month but know that the first reason for them is that there is no shame in having same-sex attraction, and even the Catechism bears that out. Further anthropological studies must continue to understand homosexuality because it is not a modern manifestation but has been part of humanity for all its history. The question is how to teach people including those who feel such attraction to live with it in light of the call of discipleship to Christ.
Finally, introduce all of that in the discussion by showing Bridegroom in your parish and discussing what the Church actually teaches about chastity and charity. I am sure your sessions will be interesting.
Bridegroom can be purchased and licensed through Kino Lorber. As with all films, licensing is required for public performances even if no admission is charged.