Hooters Closes Stores Amid Bankruptcy as Younger Generation Favors Bespoke, Craft TittiesHooters announced that it would be closing dozens of stores nationwide as part of a bankruptcy restructuring plan, as their customer base has shrunk due to the younger generation of men preferring to ogle less commercialized titties. Jul 27 25July 27, 2025Article at The Hard Times
Cryptic Calendar Invite From Boss Blocking Fast TravelSAN FRANCISCO – Around lunchtime on Friday, Jordan Greggs received a cryptic calendar invite from his boss scheduled for 4:30 PM that is now blocking… May 07 24May 07, 2024Article at Hard Drive
Rude! My Friend Invited Me to Meet Her Baby and the Baby Showed Up Completely UnpreparedI’ve really been missing hangouts with by best friend ever since she had her baby. It’s been nearly impossible for us to find time to get together, but luckily last week she finally invited me over to meet him. Apr 16 24April 16, 2024Article at The Hard Times
Guy Ignores Eclipse in Favor of Destroying Vision by Looking at Screens 16 Hours a DayCLEVELAND – After learning that looking directly at the sun during a solar eclipse could blind him, Tyler Dennison made a conscious decision to skip… Apr 08 24April 08, 2024Article at Hard Drive
Jesus Re-Release Widely Panned for Lack of Physical MediaJERUSALEM — An updated version of Jesus has been re-released after only three days, but many followers are unhappy with the lack of physical media,… Mar 31 24March 31, 2024Article at Hard Drive
Uninsured American Hoping Doctor Duets Their Video of Weird Rash Before TikTok is BannedBrett Wilson, one of millions of uninsured Americans, became concerned that he may not be able to get a duet from a licensed doctor with medical advice now that the House of Representatives voted to ban TikTok earlier today. Mar 13 24March 13, 2024Article at The Hard Times
Boeing Reminds Passengers Planes Are All Still in Early AccessARLINGTON, Va — After weeks of reported malfunctions and passenger injuries, Boeing responded to customer concerns by reminding the community that its planes are still… Mar 13 24March 13, 2024Article at Hard Drive
Guy Exclusively Dating AI Already Has 3 .exe GirlfriendsMILWAUKEE — After only two months of exclusively dating AI women, Travis Anderson revealed to reporters today that he already has 3 .exe girlfriends. Anderson… Mar 05 24March 05, 2024Article at Hard Drive
George R.R. Martin Admits “Winds of Winter” Delayed Due to Writing 8,000 Letters to Harry StylesAmerican novelist George R.R. Martin admitted that his highly anticipated book “The Winds of Winter” was once again delayed due to the fact he spent the last month writing 8,000 letters to Harry Styles. Feb 20 24February 20, 2024Article at The Hard Times
I Put $50,000 in a Shoe Box and Handed It to a Stranger Because He Said He Could Get Me Into Helldivers 2I never thought I was the type of person to fall for a scam. I had been sitting at the Helldivers 2 loading screen for… Feb 19 24February 19, 2024Article at Hard Drive
Home Seller Forced to Disclose Skibidi ToiletCINCINNATI – Prospective home buyers were shocked to discover during an open house that the sellers had not previously disclosed the primary en suite bathroom… Feb 05 24February 05, 2024Article at Hard Drive
Sad: I Carried A Really Heavy Package All By Myself And No One SawThis is the loneliest day of my life! I got a very heavy package delivered today. Don’t believe me? It had, not one, but two “Heavy” stickers stuck to the box. Jan 25 24January 25, 2024Article at The Hard Times
Aging Millennial Still Blaming High School Soccer for Tight HamstringsInjury-prone. Jan 22 24January 22, 2024Article at End of The Bench Sports
How to Work Out Using Just The Crushing Weight of Your Own ExistenceThis helpful guide will provide you with an easy workout you can do right now, in your home, with the heaviest thing you have available -- the crushing weight of your own existence. No equipment necessary! Jan 20 24January 20, 2024Article at The Hard Times
Fantasy Football Team Saves Best Performance of the Year for 3rd Place GameAbout time! Jan 08 24January 08, 2024Article at End of The Bench Sports
Duck With Corkscrew Penis Assures Girlfriend They All Look Like ThatLocal mallard Ruddy assured his girlfriend that his odd corkscrew-shaped penis is what all duck phalluses look like. Dec 20 23December 20, 2023Article at The Hard Times
Every Game We Spent Way Too Much Time Playing on the Family Computer Because They’re All We HadKids these days, with their instant gratification and endless choices, will never know the true struggle of gaming in an era where variety was a… Dec 06 23December 06, 2023Article at Hard Drive
New 50GB Baldur’s Gate 3 Patch Adds Single Extremely Detailed Dick VeinGENT, BELGIUM – Larian Studios announced today that a new 50GB patch is available for their smash hit Baldur’s Gate 3 — adding only a… Dec 01 23December 01, 2023Article at Hard Drive
Woman Excited to Show Therapist Bo Burnham’s “Inside” Not On Spotify Wrapped This YearLocal woman Jenna Morris was thrilled to discover that her Spotify Wrapped did not contain any traces of Bo Burnham’s “Inside” this year and immediately wanted to share the information with her therapist. Nov 29 23November 29, 2023Article at The Hard Times
