Review: Things I couldn't stop thinking about during the Wicked movie.
There are two types of people.
Those who have been counting down until the release of the movie Wicked, and those who don’t even know it exists. There is no middle ground here.
For the former (I assume, the only ones reading) as you then know, the world premiere of Wicked (Part I) was last night. Based on the smash hit Broadway musical, which was based on the book, which was basically a fan-fiction prequel based on the movie based on the book The Wizard of Oz (still following?) the story is a villain-origin prequel about the Wicked Witch of the West. The story asks the question: Are people born wicked? Or do they have wickedness thrust upon them?
So, Joker, but for theatre nerds.
I was lucky enough to attend a premiere, where I was surrounded by enough Elphabas and Galindas to make my sad pink outfit feel as background as lame old munchkin Boq. Reader – I did not feel “Popular”.
People came dressed as wizards, witches (although, sit in front of me at the cinema with that hat on and I’ll show you who’s wicked), in sparkles and elaborate costumes that were indeed “Defying Gravity” (look, it’s plot exposition, it has to go somewhere).
There was themed food, carpets, music, and games - as Galinda notes, pink goes good with green. Our premiere even had a prize for the person who had seen the Wicked stage show the most times. (FYI - the acceptable answer is somewhere from three to five. The winner was 45. Sir, you don’t deserve a prize, you need therapy).
What is the Wicked movie about?
“It’s always best to start at the beginning. And all you do is follow the Yellow Brick Road.”
The prequel focuses on two young students, Elphaba, born green and an outcast her whole life for being ‘different’, and Galinda, a beautiful and popular girl who mistakenly volunteers to be her roommate at university.
As the two merge from enemies to friends, the question remains: how do they end up down such vastly different paths in the Merry Old Land of Oz?
With the stage show making gay household names out of leads Kristin Chenoweth and Idina Mezel (well, to some, to others, she’s forever known as Adele Dazeem…), the film version had big ruby slippers to fill.
Ariana Grande (of such bangers like “Side to Side”, the lyrics of which unfortunately, my mother learnt the hard way after printing them out to sing along to during her concert), and Cynthia Erivo, who I mainly knew from amazing red carpet-ness and incredible vocals in Bad Times at the El Royale.
Luckily, these two powerhouse vocalists were no scarecrow or cowardly lion. Already bustling with brains, heart and courage, the almost three-hour epic took us on an incredibly enjoyable emerald journey to the Wonderful Wizard of Oz.
While I loved every naff, crazy, please don’t singalong moment, during the film, there was still some… confusion:
10 thoughts I had during Wicked Part I
1. WHAT is going on with Ariana’s eyebrows?
Look, I can’t sit here and pretend I was not distracted by what was going on with those things for a good 84% of the movie.
While a lot about her general weight/health has been commented on by the media, I’m Not That Girl. I was more distracted by her overall eyebrow/hair combo on screen.
What was going on? Blonde? Brown? Bronde? The unflattering dye-job clashed with the sickly-blonde hair and Kmart eyelash extensions also did not help the equation. Now please:
2. Why does everyone have to wear the uniform except Elphaba and Galinda?
The two budding young sorceresses meet at university, where inexplicably, everyone is in uniform except for Galinda and Elphaba. I mean, a uniform at uni is already weird but why do they get to ditch it? Is it so we never forget who the stars are? One’s green, the other has weirdly dyed eyebrows – trust me, we’re not forgetting
3. What is Shiz University?
I feel the name of the uni itself is meant to be some sort of Oz-ish reference, but no one around me got it. Shiz. She-wiz? She-wizard? This uni is the shizzle run by Dean Snoop? It was never explained, and I refuse to Google it. Someone will just need to tell me.
4. You’re telling me she chose… him?
So, regular Ariana pop culture gossips like myself can tell you that outside of Oz, aka the real world, Ariana Grande has been shacking up with a dude named Ethan Slater, who plays the dorky munchkin Boq.
The relationship timeline is… messy, at best considering both were still married when filming on Wicked began. But something must have changed within her… just saying…
5. Why is it so… camp?
Like, of course it’s camp, it’s a musical, you say cattily as you sip from your Wicked-themed movie cup that probably cost $19.99.
But you know how modern musicals tend to incorporate these song-and-dance numbers into the storyline - Chicago is Roxy’s visions, Hairspray is lots of stage performances? This film felt like more of a throwback to old school musicals with big lavish dance scenes out of nowhere, like West Side Story or An American in Paris.
It’s big, fantastical sets, students and munchkins suddenly dancing walking down the street or on their way to class. It’s fun, it’s just… through accepting limits a lot.
6. What era is it?
Obviously as a fantasy, it doesn’t follow the same linear timelines and eras as the real world. But Oz was
You had princes on horseback but it’s a land controlled by a man with powers who is meant to know spells slash science. The people talk like modern times about being popular while the clothing shifts between modern, medieval and fantasy. I spose it’s a trip down the Yellow Brick Road, and I am just a passenger on a horse / steam train / flying broomstick / car (?).
7. The eyebrows, again
8. Why is everybody always… singing?
Listen, I love me a movie musical. I know I’m who I am today because I knew- was practically raised by Julie Andrews. But a fair warning - while not as wordless as Les Misérables (dear Lord) or the stage production of Rent, dialogue is pretty limited, and is really just used for a few sentences here and there to segway to the next song.
For those who would be looking for the nearest exit, you have been duly warned.
9. Did the prince just… leave her there, in the woods?
At one stage, without too much of a spoiler, Elphaba finds herself hiding in the woods with a (hot, singing, dancing, just date Boq FFS) prince (look, perhaps He Doesn’t Know Yet).
They share a tender moment, and then he just… leaves her there? Like, runs back to Shiz (?) and she just has to… make her own way back from the woods, I guess? Talk about a f*ckboi.
10. Why don’t we have more events like this?!
Considering cinema is in huge decline, we definitely need more movie events to encourage people to view seeing a movie as not just watching a film, but an experience!
While there’s no place like home, more themed carpets, sets, performers, trivia, food, dress and experiences will have us Off To See The Wizard for plenty more events in no time.