By Dan Bennett

Saturday, explained.

1. Woke up before 7 a.m.
2. Took him to 7–11 before baseball practice, because he won’t play unless he has coffee.
3. Hit 30 grounders and 30 fly balls to eleven 13-year-olds. Taught them no short-hops on the “cut-three.” Bounce it way out front or hit the glove. It’s 85 degrees on the field. Ready for nap. There will be none.
4. Took him and his friend to friend’s house.
5. Took her to badminton practice.
6. On the drive home, thought about what Michael Stipe recently told Donald Trump after Trump’s campaign used “It’s the End of the World As We Know It (And I Feel Fine)” at a rally. Laughed aloud even though I’m alone. Looked around the car to see if anyone heard me. Did I mention I was hot and delirious?
7. Returned home, and edited short story I finished last week. Remembered again that editing is more difficult than writing, no matter what we writers say.
8. Picked her up after practice.
9. Dropped off him and his friend at Belmont Park.
10. Went back home and edited more. 80 degrees at my desk. Remembered again that 13-year-old said he could build a makeshift air conditioner with PVC pipe, a fan and an ice tray. Considered letting him try, but then remembered what I’ve known for decades: Never give a teenager PVC pipe. Shit explodes in the backyard. Like the dog house. I had nothing to do with it. (Don’t worry, the dog wasn’t in it. Not that I know anything about it).
11. Dropped her off so she could meet her friends for dinner. Stopped at Food Truck and looked at menu. Took next step and asked for food. Buffalo Chicken Mozzarella Sandwich. Oh, it has avocado, it’s healthy.
12. Drove back to Belmont Park to retrieve him and friend. Remembered that I’ve always enjoyed driving in San Diego at the end of a hot day, at sundown, just as it starts to cool off, especially on the I-5, where you can see the bay. Listened to the radio on the drive. Jackpot: Louis Armstrong singing “What a Wonderful World,” which everyone loves and never switches stations, so as not to get struck by lightning. Which, if you hold Louie Armstrong accountable for saying it’s a wonderful world, technically that includes everything about the world, including lightning. I don’t know if that’s a conundrum, but I’m pretty sure it’s something.
13. An Air Supply song comes on and I quickly switch stations, because Air Supply.
14. Land on “A Prairie Home Companion,” and I hope you will all sing with me to the banjo and some hand-clapping, as if we were all having a swell time at a small-town hootenanny, using these lyrics I wrote about that jaunty, winking show many years ago: Most. Boring. Overrated. Radio. Program. Ever.
15. I quickly switched back to Air Supply for some sweet relief. I’m not all out of love for them anymore.
16. Picked the boys up in the same spot at Belmont Park where my father picked up me and friends in the early ‘70s. Realize, quietly, that’s pretty cool.
17. He showed me what he won at the arcade — a fake switchblade that turns into a comb when you flick it. Quickly became jealous of his prize, then remember I started losing my hair at age 20, and try to get on with my life by simply driving home, where I am almost certain there is a couch.
18. Drive south on Interstate 5, early evening now, and the downtown lights look awesome. Remembered what Louie said. It really is a wonderful world. Forgave Air Supply for everything. Not “A Prairie Home Companion,” though.
19. Randomly wish that Marc Bolan from T-Rex was still alive. Remembered that when I was in Mammoth a few weeks ago, the FM station played Iggy and the Stooges and Dizzy Gillespie back to back. My kind of town.
20. Got 13-year-old home so he can rest up for his game tomorrow. Our game. Will I dream about short hops? Sometimes I dream about fly balls coming my way. I have since I was a kid. And sometimes I sit up in my bed and reach my hands out to catch the ball. That’s right, hands. Two hands. Some rules can’t be broken. It’s dark, though, so often I miss the catch and the baseball hits me in the nose. It’s not easy to pantomime an ice pack in your sleep.
21. Now waiting to pick her up when she’s finished with dinner.
22. Meanwhile, watch “Portlandia, Season 5, Episode 1: The Story of Toni and Candace.” Learned some things about those characters I didn’t know. I wonder if they would verbally abuse me if I were in their bookstore. I hope so. Perhaps for using a split infinitive, as in No. 15, above: “I quickly switched…”
23. Soon, sleep. Unless it’s too hot. Need to remember there’s some PVC pipe in the upstairs closet. Will build makeshift AC in my sleep. I don’t have a dog but if I did, I don’t know where the hell he would sleep.

24) 7 a.m. draws near.