My beloved Korean EXO-L,

There seems to be a great deal of animosity between us. So I’ve come before you, not as another naysayer who’d sweep your concerns about Chen’s marriage under the proverbial dusty rug of denial. Rather I come as a sister in K-pop, someone who wishes to acknowledge your pain.

Listen,
I get it.
The marriage of an idol is …
Well …
It’s just so unfair!

And, okay, while perhaps @jinzhongdasile was hasty in her anger
I completely understand how the marriage of someone
so close to her could seem tantamount to systematic racism.

Yes, I
I do see the similarities between
Beloved Chen to the
Brutal Murder of Trayvon Martin.

Chen’s marriage, quite frankly,
abcdeit’s a shot in the back
abcdeit’s a bleeding out from the wound as you cry out,
abcde“Help me!”

How similar in form and substance
the consecration of love is to the mysterious
Death of Sandra Bland.

It’s confusing, at best
But most nefarious in all honesty.
How — just like our Sister Sandra —
abcdeone moment he’s there
abcdein your hands
The next, he’s just …
abcdegone.
Snatched from you,
abcdeleaving you
abcdebeaten
abcdebruised
No explanation
No clarity
No closure
Just erased, covered up
abcdeas if hiding a secret from you.

Certainly
I recognize the horror of nuptials
abcdeas almost identical to the
Playground Execution of Tamir Rice.

Your innocence
abcdeas you act out your fantasies of a life
abcdewith your Dearest Chen.
Torn down
abcdea hailstorm of bullet fire
It’s a betrayal of trust
abcdein an entity that repeatedly implored you
abcdeto give it so freely.

This, Chen’s sudden unavailability to you,
It does have shades of black and brown
abcdedisenfranchised bodies being shutout
abcdeof voting in Georgia.
Chen shutting you out of a possibility,
abcdeof a potential future you deserve to see
abcdeabcdedeserve to live!
It’s a mockery of the time you’ve spent
abcdevying for his albums
abcdethe rules you painstakingly followed
abcdeto acquire access to his life
abcdeto what should’ve been the only thing he loved —
abcdeabcdegiving you everything you desire.

Or like giving the highest civilian honor
abcdeto a man who abhors
abcdeblack and brown people,
abcdeChen’s marriage is a slap in the face of everything
abcdeyou stand for the dream of existing,
abcdethe two of you, in a world of your creation.

You know something?
Perhaps the most dangerous game
abcdeof living in brown and black skin
abcdeon another continent is too far removed
abcdetoo unfamiliar.

We international fans didn’t consider
maybe the spray of bullets and spit
from those who loathe us to their core
was a bit further than your reach.

Maybe the view should be much closer.

And, yes, bringing the narrative to your shores does make more sense. The anger you feel in your wombs more relevant.

This marriage
abcde— without your consent, no less —
abcdeis certainly a direct parallel to the affection for
abcdeblackface, the minstrel show entertaining.

It’s as if Chen refused to see you
abcdeas many refuse to see the black
abcdeand multiracial families in Korea
His dedication to some woman
abcdeit’s a mockery
abcdeof who you are. It erases
abcdeabcdeyour complexity
abcdeabcdeyour beauty
abcdeabcdeyour contributions to his existence
abcdeabcdein a culture he doesn’t own.

His declaration of his profane love
abcdeso similar in sprayed-on skin tone
abcdeto the most popular Korean artists saying
abcdeabcdeabcde“Nigga”
abcdegleefully
abcdeboldly
abcdewithout apology

The smugness of his words bite
abcdeas that word on the lips
abcdeof those who don’t share
abcdemy skin, is equally
abcdeabcdedemeaning
abcdeabcdecruel
abcdeabcdedisrespectful
abcdeabcdedismissive.

Chen excluding your opinions about his life are reminiscent
of a time when black and brown-skinned mixed children
weren’t allowed in the same schools as pure Korean kids.
He’s shutting you out.
He’s destroying your right to dream
abcdeof a better life lived in luxury
abcdehim by your side forever and always
abcdewriting love songs just for you.

When taken as a whole, yes, Chen’s actions are not only selfish. They’re demeaning to your humanity. The racial violence many International EXO-Ls experience daily is but a bee sting. When compared to the betrayal of trust. The everlasting torment to the hearts of our sister fans in Korea.

So let’s stop this now.
This fighting, this squabbling.
Those think pieces on why K-EXO-Ls have every right to every part of a stranger’s life. You are, after all, supporting Chen’s dreams. How dare he destroy yours!

Just know that not everyone disregards your displeasure and righteous anger.
I believe you believe your pain is similar in weight and hue to the never-ending battle to exist for my people.

After all, beloved K-EXO-L, like us you simply want to exist …
abcdein the eyes of your Chen

I, too, hope his success in China, Japan and the entirety of the Western market keeps him warm at night. You have rightfully withdrawn the heat of your passions for him.

And, honestly, it’s what he deserves.

(Feature Image via Star1, Soompi, Twitter [1][2], CNN, The Washington Post, GQ, NPR, The Korea Herald.)

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[GUEST POST] Plight of the K-EXOL: A Love Poem