Making your career your identity is a recipe for heartache.
I never felt more at peace than the day I was let go from my job.
I know it sounds absurd, but hear me out.
I was working as a volunteer coordinator for a non-profit at the time. I would arrive at the office every day with a pit in my stomach. In addition to my job description, I had to be a jack of all trades. Everything from administrative tasks, communications, programming, and event planning was on my plate.
The beautiful thing about the non-profit industry is that you know you’re making a difference in people’s lives.
But when you give so much of yourself to help others, you end up burning out too.
There’s only so much you can give before you’re running on empty. Everything I touched would fall apart and I was making mistakes left, right and center.
But I was fresh out of university and lucky enough to secure this position straight after graduation. I knew there were many others in my place who weren’t as fortunate, so I thought I had to stick it out. I was grateful for the opportunity and didn’t want to let people down. So I took a deep breath and kept showing up, even though I felt like I had boarded a roller coaster teetering on the edge of a precipice at this job. I was waiting for everything to come crashing down.
And it eventually did. I got the dreaded call into my boss’ office and she uttered the fateful words that terminated my employment.
But I felt so relieved — this massive weight lifted off my shoulders. I was free. On my train ride home, I plugged in my earphones, put on some worship music, and prayed. The peace that washed over me was unreal. I was content to sit in my circumstances and just be. At that moment, I wasn’t worried about the future or what would come next (…that would come later, though).
If I could go back in time and tell past Bernice something, I would tell her that her job did not define her worth. I hadn’t been unemployed since I was seventeen years old, working part-time through high school and university before securing this full-time position.
I didn’t know who I was if I wasn’t working. Especially after I graduated from university, I placed immense pressure on myself to find the perfect job in my field and be successful. After all, that’s why we enroll in a post-secondary institution in the first place: get a degree, get a job, make money, be happy. It all seemed perfectly linear in my mind.
What ended up happening after I was let go was I gave myself permission to wander. I let go of the mindset of going from Point A to Point B in my career. Since I wasn’t employed and didn’t have to apply for vacation days, I decided to visit a dear friend in Buenos Aires, Argentina. Several bites of mouthwatering chorizo later, it was safe to safe that the sting of being let go was a distant memory.
Women also face extra pressures in the workplace. There’s societal pressure to start a family but to not have it interfere with their work. Women in male-dominated fields have to combat sexism and discrimination. We’re already climbing up a rickety career ladder on its last legs.
It is difficult, but necessary, to slow down and ask ourselves why we’re making the career decisions we’re making. Too often, external forces influence our decisions. Our ambitions can be warped by the expectations of those closest to us. Giving ourselves permission to wander is okay, and I wished more women realized that.
I ended up going back to my university to complete a brief certificate program, and was hired for a marketing role by that same university shortly after. Life has a funny way of taking you full circle. Three years later, I love my job, my team, and my place in this organization.
If you’re feeling stuck in your career path right now, don’t give up until you find the position that is the right fit for you. You deserve happiness and success on your terms.
Your job does not define your worth, because you are enough.
This story is a response to Modern Women’s writing prompt, “The Wisdom I Wish Others Knew”.