Dear Santa Claus,
I know you haven't heard from me since 1977, the year I figured out that the handwriting on the thank-you note you left in exchange for the milk and cookies was the same handwriting as Mom's, but I hope you'll forgive the long delay in correspondence. I have something very important to ask you for Christmas.
Santa Claus, all I want for Christmas is the gift of unbound electors who cast their vote for President according to the results of the popular vote. That's it. Nothing big. You don't even have to wrap it or find a way to stuff it in the back of the sleigh. Just convince enough unbound electors to do the job the Founding Fathers created the Electoral College to do, which is to save the Republic from the passions of small segments of the electorate who are trying to give this country into the stewardship of a racist, misogynistic, homophobic demagogue who cannot be trusted with a Twitter account, much less national security.
If you do that on December 19, I promise to spend the rest of my life telling the world that you really do exist and to do penance for my grave fault of failing to believe for 39 years. And you won't ever have to give me a Christmas present again. (Just save them and send them for my birthday in January.)
Deal? Hugs and kisses.
(Editor's note: A few weeks later, Michelle reported sadly that she did not get what she hoped for that Christmas.)
(Image: Child writing letter, Pixabay.)