FROM what they watch on telly to what they cook for dinner or how well they speak, sexpert Kate Taylor explains the subtle powers that make someone a sex hero.
They love watching Gogglebox
Knock, knock. Who’s there? LUST. A great sense of humour means your partner is probably more daring in bed because they aren’t scared of messing up.
So if your new love interest invites you to a comedy club, is a fan of TV shows such as 8 Out Of 10 Cats, Gogglebox or Fleabag, you could be on to a winner.
Sex Coach Stella Sonnenbaum says: “Giggles relax you. Trying out a new sexual position you’ve seen online that just doesn’t work for you and your partner can be tragic or hilarious — your choice.”
Being able to laugh together also helps to build the connection between you.
Sexologist and Intimacy Coach Lucy Rowett says: “Often what makes sex toe-tingling are the moments when you’re looking into each other’s faces and laughing, or teasing and playing during foreplay.”
When cooking, they never use a recipe
Does your mild-mannered colleague always come up with new ideas? Invite them out for a drink — they could be a demon after dark.
Or maybe your partner is a creative genius in the kitchen, refusing to follow recipes and preferring to invent one-off concoctions.
While their experiments and ideas might not always pay off, these subtle signs of a creative mind mean they are probably an innovator in the bedroom, too.
Sex expert Rebecca Dakin says: “Being innovative could suggest someone is open to new ideas in the bedroom and may be up for a bit of role play, which is all about improvisation.”
Want to test your intimate improv skills? Lucy advises couples to think on their feet, even when they’re on their back.
She says: “Only got 10 minutes? Want outdoor sex, but your neighbours are in the garden? If you and/or your partner can quickly come up with an alternative, that’s what makes great, memorable sex.”
Lastminute.com is in their bookmarks
While it might irk some people that their partner is difficult to pin down and always whizzing off on their next escapade, their spontaneity is a likely sign that they excel in the sack.
That person who is always up for a last-minute adventure is someone you should never let go of. Seat-of-their-pants lovers keep sex exciting for years.
“Novelty creates excitement, which is like rocket fuel for desire,” says Lucy.
Every time you try something new, your brain releases dopamine, which can boost your arousal and motivation. Even tiny tweaks to your old-favourite techniques can liven things up.
Lucy adds: “With spontaneity, sex with your partner is ever-evolving.
Repetitive sex can become a chore. Interesting lovemaking is all about being in the moment.”
They say yes to playing sport
Staying active, busy and engaged with their own life makes them a sexy partner — even if sometimes you might prefer a quiet night in.
Stella says: “Active lifestyles usually include other people. Being in company ensures we see other people interacting with and looking at our partner, and we can see our loved one from their perspective.
“Can’t wait to get home and have privacy for lovemaking? The anticipation can make things extra hot.”
Lucy says: “Being physically fit and healthy helps with stamina, erections, lubrication and certain positions.
“That isn’t to say that if you have health concerns or physical limitations great sex is off the menu — far from it. Even just enjoying movement and having some sort of workout routine can help you connect better with your body.”
They are first on the dance floor
Hips don’t lie. If you want to predict someone’s moves in bed, drag them out to a club.
Rebecca says: “The way someone can wind their body is a good indicator of the moves and sensuality they can bring to the bedroom.”
Studies have shown the way we dance is affected by our hormones.
Women move their hips more flamboyantly during the fertile part of their cycle, while men with high testosterone levels dance most exuberantly.
So if your partner is zipping across the dancefloor, you’re likely to have a good time when you get home.
They speak quickly
“Great sex is all about great communication,” says Rebecca.
“If you can share your desires without judgment, sex can be an exciting journey of discovery.” Not only that, look for someone who talks well too, as there are sexy bonuses.
Stella says: “The tongue is a conglomerate of eight muscles. It is agile and strong. Someone who talks in a rapid-fire way, such as a sports commentator, must have a strong tongue.
“Someone who has learned breathing control (a swimmer or trained singer) will feel stronger sensations during sex, as breathing is closely linked with sensitivity.”
They Google ‘how to’ several times a week
If they don’t know how to do something — from a job around the house to something technical on the computer or even saying something in a different language — they will find out themselves rather than asking someone else to do it.
This curiosity makes them a master of lovemaking, too.
Lucy says: “Don’t underestimate how important this quality is.
“You or your partner may not be particularly skilled or experienced, but the willingness and openness to learn is actually far more valuable than knowing techniques or having had lots of lovers before.
“When you can approach each other with a beginner’s mind and curiosity — knowing that what worked for previous partners may not work for this one — you are going to have much more fun, pleasure and delight together.”
...but it's bad news for cat-lovers
THEY DON’T KNOW HOW TO PET YOUR CAT: How someone communicates with animals tells you a lot about their sexuality, according to Clinical Sexologist and Relationship Advisor for Peaches and Screams Katie Lasson. “Some cats might enjoy head scratches, while others prefer tummy rubs. If your crush doesn’t seem to understand what the cat likes and wants, they probably won’t be able to read your body and the messages it’s sending,” warns Katie.
THEY ARE ALWAYS IN A RUSH: People who live life in the fast lane might quickly be disappointing in bed, according to Katie. “A partner who is in a hurry in everyday life is likely to be in a hurry even in intimate moments,” she says. “Usually, in sex you want to enjoy romance and passionate moments with patience so that you can reach the highest peaks of pleasure.”
THEY AVOID EYE CONTACT: Don’t be fooled into lusting after mysterious types who don’t meet your eyes. They’re not necessarily thinking deep thoughts – they might simply be avoiding closeness. Lesley Cragg, founder of Your Pleasure Toys, says: “Someone not holding eye contact implies they’re not great at creating a personal connection. They may turn out to be a weak lover, who is unable to show initiative.”
THEY BOAST OF HOW GREAT THEY ARE: Don’t believe the hype. When someone tells you they’re amazing in bed, prepare to be disappointed, says sexual-health expert Hussain Abdeh: “Bragging and talking about their sex life is usually a sign that they are going to be bad in bed. When it comes to sex, actions speak louder than words. Finding that balance of being able to confidently talk about sex whilst refraining from bragging and boasting is a very fine line.”
THEY TAKE AGES WITH THE MENU: If your date takes 30 minutes to decide what to order for dinner, don’t bother inviting them back for coffee. Dithering over simple choices can be a sign someone is equally indecisive between the sheets, says Rachel Seymour of Philia Therapy. She adds: “If they can’t decide what they like in a (relatively) pressure-free scenario like eating, it’s possible that they won’t be able to communicate their sexual likes and dislikes in the bedroom.”
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