WANT to enjoy sex even more? Try reminding your fella that it’s a marathon, not a sprint.
A new study has revealed how long it takes women on average to reach orgasm – and it’s longer than most men might think.
While the average man takes just six minutes to climax, it takes women 13 mins and 41 secs.
And 68.6 per cent of women need some other form of action beside penetrative sex.
So how can you put the max in your climax? And what can your man do to help you along?
Here, sexpert KATE TAYLOR offers a guide to closing the orgasm time gap.
Slow him down
IF your partner is quick off the mark, it will make your orgasm gap even longer.
So try these tips that work well to heighten your enjoyment while gently dampening his, helping you to finish at the same time.
LUBRICANT: Fifty per cent of women found it easier to orgasm when they used a lubricant during sex, in a study by the Indiana University Center for Sexual Health Promotion.
An added bonus is that lubes lessen friction felt by your man, which may prolong his performance. Try Almost Naked Personal Lubricant, by Good Clean Love (£16.99, Amazon).
STIMULATING CONDOMS: Take the edge off his pleasure by masking some of the sensations he will feel.
They will ramp up your own fun by adding extra friction.
Try Pasante Ribbed & Dotted Condoms (£6.99, lovehoney.co.uk) which are covered with raised studs to rub you up the right way.
YOU-FIRST FOREPLAY: If your sex usually begins with an equal exchange of foreplay, get selfish.
Ensure all the preliminary warm-up stages are focused on you and your arousal, and let him catch up later.
Start your session with your favourite form of foreplay.
A quarter of women prefer oral sex, a Durex survey found. Aim to get yourself up to an eight-out-of-ten level of arousal before you turn your attention to him.
Or even better, climax through foreplay first, then have sex.
Unlike men, women don’t have a recovery period, so there’s nothing to stop you climaxing again within seconds.
Pre-heat your oven
SUPPLEMENT YOUR SEX DRIVE: Try some natural remedies that are believed to boost your libido.
Shatavari (£9, naturisimo.com) is an Ayurvedic herb that can balance your hormones, lower anxiety and rev up your natural urges.
Or try Korean Ginseng (£28.99, 500mg 200 capsules, Holland & Barrett), is said to improve your energy levels, raise alertness and give your bits a general pick-me-up.
STOP YOUR MIND WANDERING: It might sound a little hippy but practising mindfulness can take sex to the next level.
A 2017 study in the Journal of Sexual Medicine found that women’s ability to orgasm increased by 30 per cent after they had completed a mindfulness programme.
Before sex, grab a moment alone and try a five-minute meditation to focus your thoughts. Be in the present and notice five things happening around you, from sounds to what you touch.
NEAT SPRAY LOVE: Another natural way to prime yourself for a speedy climax is aromatherapy.
Certain scents are believed to increase arousal, including ylang ylang and patchouli.
If your partner is getting to the finish line way before you, try wearing an aromatherapy scent during the day before you hit the sheets.
Try Love Sleep Pillow Spray (£30, thisworks.com), a heady blend of scents to curl your toes.
BLOOD-PUMPING BEHAVIOUR: An orgasm is just the release of blood that gathered in your lady-garden during arousal.
So for optimum orgasms, you need to ensure optimum blood flow.
Certain things (like dehydration, smoking and slobbing on the sofa all day) can leave your circulation lethargic, leading to less excitement in bed.
So ditch the cigs, drink plenty of water and get a good 20-30 minutes of exercise, like a brisk walk, before hitting the sheets. Sadly, running up the stairs to the bedroom isn’t enough.
GET THE EDGE: Get a head start on your orgasm by “edging” a few times during the day – bringing yourself almost to climax, then stopping. This allows the blood to gather in your bits, ready for orgasm.
When you eventually have sex, you’ll find you hit the high notes much faster than usual – and possibly more powerfully.
SOMETIMES normal sex simply isn’t stimulating enough to get you there.
So a helpful way to speed up your satisfaction is to add a sex toy to your bedroom routine.
These ones are designed to directly stimulate the parts that normal sex cannot reach – but will not get in the way of the action.
Fin, by Dame Products (£85, cultbeauty.co.uk): Dame Products is an all-female company on a mission to close the “orgasm gap” between men and women. One of its most effective solutions is this fun, discreet stimulator.
You wear it on your finger and use it to massage your clitoris during sex. It’s small enough not to get in his way, and strong enough to turn “Meh” into “OH YEAH!”.
Starlet, by Womanizer (£49, womanizer.com): The Starlet is small but mighty, delivering a unique mix of suction and stimulation using air technology. It fits over your bits and would be a perfect way to liven up positions such as doggy style or spoons.
Tracey Cox Supersex Rechargeable Vibrating Love Ring (£34.99, lovehoney.co.uk): If you like him, then you really should put a ring on him.
Vibrating penis rings increase YOUR pleasure by vibrating against your bits, while also giving him a little bit more staying power. This trusty toy delivers a powerful range of sensations during sex.
FOR female orgasms, some positions work much better than others.
To ensure you reach the high notes together, choose a position that delivers direct stimulation to your erogenous zones such as your clitoris, G-spot and vulva, but doesn’t give your fella too much depth or control – or he will be finished before you have even started.
These are my pick of positions to get in sync.
WOMAN ON TOP, FACING FORWARDS: This is a great way to ensure that every part of you gets the attention it deserves.
Climb aboard your partner and sit up straight – that way, he will be rubbing up against the front wall of your nether regions, where the G-spot is rumoured to hide.
From here, your fella can also stroke the underside of your breasts and your nipples – the most sensitive areas for most women.
SPOONS: This isn’t the most hot-and-heavy position, but that’s what we want – because your partner’s pleasure will be slowed down in this sleepy session, while you can use your hands or a toy to build your own orgasm first.
Lie on your side with your back against your partner’s chest.
Bring your top leg back over his top leg, so you are fully exposed down under.
Now you are free to explore your most sensitive zones. When you feel your excitement reaching the point of no return, flip over into the doggy-style position so you can quickly climax together.
COITAL ALIGNMENT TECHNIQUE (CAT): This missionary move combines the intimacy of face-to-face sex with more direct stimulation for you.
Start in basic missionary, him between your legs, but then have your partner move himself four or five inches up the bed.
Then, instead of thrusting, he should rock his hips against you.
It might take a while to notice the difference, but you should soon feel much more direct pressure than usual.
This position also has the benefit of slowing down his excitement, giving you more time to catch up.
Sexpert Nadia Bokody visits a sex therapist to find out the common reasons people visit
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