Chad Christensen

Boy With Shovel: Who’s Afraid of Terence McKenna?

Chad M. Christensen’s newest Boy With Shovel column, “Who’s Afraid of Terence McKenna?,” is about the Velvet Underground, nature gone wild, and psilocybin. The sun’s casting some strange shadows in the kitchen right now—which means the clouds are…

Boy With Shovel: The Misfits (Let’s Abort Texas)

Chad M. Christensen’s newest Boy With Shovel column, “The Misfits (Let’s Abort Texas),” is about the current state of affairs, shady politicians, and Texas. I’m watching the tiles fall one by one off my kitchen backsplash. Maybe I should do…

Boy With Shovel: The Wasp (and the Avocado Jungle of Death)

Chad M. Christensen’s next Boy With Shovel column, “The Wasp (and the Avocado Jungle of Death),” is about a battle with an angry wasp and a B movie from the ’80s. A huge wasp is banging itself over and over into my office window. Apparently, it’s…

Boy With Shovel: Money for Dope, Money for Rope

Chad M. Christensen’s next Boy With Shovel column, “Money for Dope, Money for Rope,” about life during COVID with kids, and daydreaming. Bill Hicks, be happy you’re fucking dead. It’s only gotten worst here. If I were an extraterrestrial being…

Boy With Shovel: Percocet, Kidney Stones, and the Old Apache Trail

Chad M. Christensen’s next Boy With Shovel column, about being in New Mexico with kidney stones and Percocet, exploring the local history and its trails. I’m naked in New Mexico right now, which is a good thing. People need to be naked more often.…

Boy With Shovel: The Philistine

Introducing a new column, Boy With Shovel, by Chad M. Christensen. In this first installment, “The Philistine,” Chad considers an odd artwork that found its way to him. I received a gift last week, or at least our office did. My graduate assistant…

High on the Plains: The Crystallized World of Mechanical Elves

High on the Plains: When in Rome, swim with the dolphins

High on the Plains: Drunk and naked like Randy Travis

High on the Plains: Woodpeckers, mackerels and other scenes of degradation

There’s a northern flicker having its way at the bird feeder this morning. No other bird is willing to deal with him. And I wouldn’t either. He’s a big one and demands respect. I think I’ll leave him alone for now. I thought about letting my cat out…

High on the Plains: In our time, the pig must die

I’m enjoying something strange and beautiful tonight. The movie “Razorback” has appeared on my screen and it’s seducing me with its horrible acting and ridiculous storyline. Cause what could be better than an 80’s Australian horror/thriller film…

High on the Plains: I once slept with Judy Garland

Water is a funny thing. And so are moons. I’m staring at the moon right now. It’s all half-cocked and orange and it’s lingering over my barn like some kind of Cheshire cat. In my living room, the children are screaming and for the first time in a…

High on the Plains: Lawyers, guns and lizard people

"Enjoy every sandwich." - Warren Zevon He’s trying to explain to me about how strange a human tongue really is, especially when seen through a hallucinogenic lens. Apparently, under certain circumstances, it becomes its own creature, bouncing around…

High on the Plains: But when Quinn the Eskimo gets here

It’s the end of summer and the flies are now slow and dumb. They’ve burned up all their resources early on and are running on mere fumes right now, desperate to find shelter before the BIG SLEEP. And I can sympathize. I too have been wandering…

High on the Plains: Felt up by Kafka and the evolving cockroaches of St. Lucia

I’ve been staring blankly at wall for several hours now. It’s response has been “nothing”—which is pretty much how it’s gone for all of spring. Perhaps even years, really. This winter, I encountered a box elder bug in my office. He made it inside…

High on the Plains: Death of an aspen tree

I had a strange experience with an elusive piece of fried chicken several years ago. Actually, it may have been 10 years ago. Not sure. But it was indeed STRANGE. A friend and I were boating ourselves to death on the Missouri River up by Wynot, Neb.…

High on the Plains: Bound for the lake of fire

Well, what’s the hatred forecast looking like today? Whitewashed and ugly. I guess Rep. Steve Arnold King (aka Arnie) is working his way towards grand wizard of the notorious hooded sheet gang. Even David Duke gave him a strong two thumbs up the bum…

High on the Plains: Happy politics, Bob Saget and the dead fish eyes of Rachel Ray

It’s getting hard out here, lord. I feel like Bill Murray in the movie “Groundhog Day,” where every morning when I wake up, I’m forced to deal with some goofy rodent with orange hair crawling out of his hole to tell me it’s gonna be gray & crappy for…

High on the Plains: The KKK took my baby away

Well, this Friday we get to see the host of “The Apprentice” be crowned in Washington, D.C. There’s that. I’ve been trying to scrape that goofy image from my skull but I know a lot of people out there in red hats are priming up for the grand…

High on the Plains: Can’t you hear me knocking

The neighbor boy had come over to see my stepson, and he was gibbering on as usual. And it was fast. Very fast. It was actually a strain to keep up with what he had to say. He’s a video game connoisseur, movie guru, and an avid Matchbox car…