FOR PEOPLE WHO don't just visit LinkedIn to click "accept" on network invites once every few weeks and actually enjoy consuming a steady diet of humblebrags and employment-based fables, there's now a new way to show your appreciation.
Eager to show it's as down with the kids as the Snappety Chats and Tindles of this world, the CV parade has added a bunch of emoji reactions you can use to respond to people's posts on the site to make your sycophantic bootlicking really stand out from the crowd.
Previously, you could only "like" people's content with a blue thumbs up logo, like somebody had chopped off a shoplifting smurf's hand. Now there are four more cartoony responses you can tag on the end of their pointless pontifications:
You can ‘celebrate' with a pair of weirdly green hands, 'love' with your classic anatomically-flawed red heart or say something's 'insightful' with an off-yellow light bulb. Our favourite though is the 'curious' icon, because it actually looks more like 'incredulous' to us, which is a far better response to anything put on LinkedIn.
"We've heard from our members that they want more," wrote LinkedIn product designers Ricardo Rivera and Cissy Chen in a blog post unveiling the feature. "Until now, they've been able to ‘like' posts, but we've heard from our members that they want more. They want to know why someone 'liked' what they shared."
We're going to go out on a limb here and suggest that in 99 per cent of the cases the answer is "ingratiation," but there we go.
Actually, for all our cynicism, the way LinkedIn came up with its five reactions is genuinely interesting. The company analysed the top one-to-two-word comments on the site to see if they could make it easier to convey for people who can't be bothered to type anything. The top eight words were "congratulations", "congrats", "interested", "thanks", "+" (not really a word, but okay), the thumbs up emoji (seriously, these aren't words), "yes" and "Amen."
Here's a picture of their old-school post-it-note word cloud.
We know you're super excited to up your networking game, but you'll have to wait. While they're rolling out now, we're told they'll only be guaranteed to hit all regions and devices over the coming months. For now, you may just have to use your words. µ